Anniversaries
by icynovas
Summary: He had to face the fact that he was in a time where he wasn't needed, a time where none of his friends remembered him the way he did. The only one who did remember was his worst enemy. Oneshot. Semi-AU. SxC. [Follow-up to Again and Again and Again].


This is a follow-up to _Still Kill The Old Way_. You should probably read it before this one, otherwise I'm afraid that this won't make sense.

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><p><strong>Anniversaries<strong>

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><p>They simply told Cloud that he was unable to handle Mako, that no matter how he good he was with the sword, how fast and agile he could be, how much potential he had, that was all he was: too <em>weak.<em>

What did it say about him that he aspired to join SOLDIER to stop being weak - to be able to protect people - only to be rejected because he was?

He couldn't go back to Nibelheim, not without anything to prove and be proud of, not to see the heartbreak in his mother's eyes. So he joined the infantry, out of necessity and need of having something to do other than sit and drown in his bitterness. Being paid to do so was an added perk, and he had to send something to his mother - even if she stubbornly refused to take money from him. He wondered one day if he'd have the chance to tell her the truth, if he'd have the courage.

Probably not; it wasn't like this job gave him any time - there was no such thing as a vacation in the infantry division - nor did he think there was a need to be sent to Nibelheim.

All Cloud had was this job, this rifle he was forced to wield instead of a sword, and for years to come, this had been the reality he lived in.

At least until one day, he reluctantly took the elevator.

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><p>While his motion sickness wasn't that bad when it came to elevators, he still felt queasy enough to try to avoid them. Thankfully, Cloud was the only one riding the elevator, so there was no risk of him throwing up onto another perso-<p>

The elevator stopped, its doors opened and a person entered.

Cloud inwardly cursed.

He glanced at the newcomer, wondering why that black leather coat was so familiar. It was only when he took notice of the long sliver hair draping the newcomer's back that Cloud realized who, exactly, was with him.

The one and only _Sephiroth_.

His dizziness and queasiness forgotten, Cloud straightened up and saluted, "Sir!"

Sephiroth, who was all but giving him any heed, turned abruptly at that, almost drilling a hole through Cloud's helmet with the intensity of his stare.

"No helmets allowed inside elevators, trooper," Sephiroth said.

Cloud was sure that there was no rule like that, and he became confused as to why the other would make it up. He didn't voice his confusion, though, taking off his helmet with a resigned shrug.

Helmet now off, Cloud couldn't even fathom the look Sephiroth had as he asked him, voice barely above whisper, "What's your name?"

In all his life, Cloud never thought that he would be in this situation, never thought of his hero giving him his utmost attention as he waited for him to answer.

"C-Cloud Strife, Sir," he replied as the elevator stopped and its doors opened again.

There was a wondrous look in Sephiroth's eyes, for a moment seemingly confused about something, before he gave him a smile that verged on a smirk. "Follow me."

Almost dazedly, Cloud did.

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><p>He fondly remembered the day he told his mother about his promotion to a SOLDIER, how she cried in joy upon hearing the pride and confidence in his voice, how he held back himself from crying in return because he could finally be something of worth.<p>

Now, one year later, he was living a good life - one that he didn't imagine ever having - being a First class SOLDIER and leading a dangerous yet exciting career within ShinRa's ranks, with amazing friends and a wonderful - if albeit aloof and sometimes unsettlingly _off_ - lover.

Cloud guessed he was... happy.

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><p>He remembered...<p>

... a past life where he suffered and fought with others, a life so different from the one he was living now, one that people here alive were dead in. Beside him, the source of his past life's misery was blissfully asleep, features that were cold and cruel once upon a time now just peaceful.

Cloud only continued to look, almost willing himself to think of what he remembered as a mere nightmare and continue on with his life as if nothing changed.

But something _did_ change, and changed a lot. Nibelheim didn't happen, Sephiroth was still working for ShinRa - not hell-bent on destroying everything in his way - and he himself was a SOLDIER. And despite wishing with his all that perhaps it was a better reality, that this was how things should've been, he could sense that something was wrong.

He never heard about Sephiroth going to Nibelheim, and now that Cloud thought more about it, he remembered hearing about how Sephiroth declined a mission three years ago without giving any reason as to why. And comparing the way Sephiroth acted before to the way he was acting now, there was a glaring difference; some knowing, careless air around him. Sephiroth was more at ease, more assured, as if he had nothing to lose... as if he had seen it all.

Cloud never thought twice about the reason why Sephiroth took him under his wing after their first meeting. Why he seemed to know that he would pull through, expectant of his success and looking almost nostalgic - almost wistful - whenever they sparred.

Before, Sephiroth's weirdly observant remarks regarding him and his sometimes-off behavior confused him. Now that he remembered though, everything clicked.

Sephiroth _remembered._

The weight of his sword - not Ultima, not the Fusion sword - felt suddenly unfamiliar as he pressed its tip against Sephiroth's throat, holding his unadmitted love at bay, replacing it with anger and wariness.

He felt the moment Sephiroth woke up and Cloud glared at him when he didn't look confused - as he should've been. "What are you trying to do?"

Many emotions and thoughts ran evident in Sephiroth's eyes, and Cloud's breath almost hitched at the intensity of them.

It took one familiar smirk, one familiar purr, for Cloud to lose the hope that Sephiroth didn't remember, didn't know what he did once upon a time.

"Good to see you again, _Cloud._"

And then, as Cloud's anger raised and his heart broke, they fought as if they never stopped fighting at all.

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><p>"Your friend is back at Cosmo Canyon, I take it."<p>

It really pissed Cloud off, how his heartbeats picked up upon hearing Sephiroth's calm, smooth voice - not in anger, not even in fear, but something different altogether, never welcome.

Three months after his defection from ShinRa, Cloud discovered how having two memories, two hearts and two lives was difficult - more difficult than gathering his memories in the Lifestream.

"What do you want?" he asked, not turning in fear that the sight of Sephiroth would weaken his resolve to stay away.

"All this time and you were here right under our noses," Sephiroth said, feigning interest in his surroundings, pointedly not answering his question. "It's a lovely town, Kalm. I can see why you settled here."

"What do you want, Sephiroth?" Cloud repeated with more force. Despite retaining his memories, Sephiroth didn't seem inclined to leave ShinRa any time soon for reasons unknown. Still, Cloud knew Sephiroth wasn't here out of loyalty for the company.

It was hard to choose between staying in ShinRa and keeping an eye on Sephiroth - even if Sephiroth didn't seem to desire to achieve his previous objectives, there was no reason for Cloud to let his guard down - and defecting from ShinRa and making sure that his friends were doing alright. In the end, Cloud didn't want to keep working for a company that destroyed his and many of his loved ones' lives, and he simply left without a single word, breaking Nanaki free along the way.

Diverting ShinRa's attention from their intended attack on Corel was tricky, but he managed to do it, making them believe that the information leak there was caused by him, and as a result, getting them to chase him across the Planet.

After going to Nibelheim and meeting up with Vincent and telling him what he needed to know, Cloud settled in Kalm, thinking of what to do next. Of course, he could've stayed with his mother - even if he knew she was alive, seeing her beaming at him again wasn't any less painful - but the negative attention he acquired from ShinRa would put her in danger. It was sheer luck that somehow, Vincent agreed to keep an eye on her from time to time, and for a moment, Cloud wondered if he remembered, too.

How Sephiroth knew that he was in Kalm was beyond Cloud; he was absolutely careful when he needed to.

"Frankly, nothing," Sephiroth finally answered, his tone softening as he continued, "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Cloud knew that if Sephiroth chose to get closer, reminding him of what they once had - what they did - together not too long ago, he wouldn't be able to resist, would fully convey his heart's yearnings. As much as Cloud was familiar with Sephiroth's body, how to undo him, make him lose control with practiced touches, Sephiroth knew the same about him.

So Cloud told him, too quietly, fearful of his thoughts becoming evident in his voice, to _leave._

Wordlessly, Sephiroth did, and Cloud crushed his sadness under a relieved sigh.

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><p>After a while, Cloud had to face the fact that he was in a time where he wasn't needed, a time where none of his friends remembered him the way he did. The only one who did remember was his worst enemy.<p>

Somehow, Sephiroth kept finding him, just when Cloud thought he would remember how the world almost fell alone. Their meetings were short and brief in words and time, ending as quietly as they started.

"Zack was devastated when you left, you know. He still refuses to take missions related to you."

Cloud winced in guilt. He did his hardest to not think about Zack's reaction to his defection; he knew he hurt his friend terribly, leaving without explanation. But what could Cloud even say to explain himself?

"It's better that way. Being concerned with me got him killed before..." No matter how many times he reconciled with reality of Zack's death, Cloud knew Zack would've survived if he just left him, knew that Zack knew that too yet he never let go, and it was this very day that he paid the price for it.

"This is where he died." It wasn't a question, but a mere observation.

Cloud only nodded, looking ahead at Midgar from an empty cliff.

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><p>"How's President Shinra doing by the way?"<p>

Sephiroth snorted. "Still as greedy and corrupt as ever."

"It was very dramatic, you know, the way you announced your presence. Killing him right in his office and leaving your sword there." Cloud wondered when Rufus would take reign of the company with his father still alive and kicking. Probably soon, if Rufus had anything to do about it.

"Care to see a repeat performance?" Sephiroth asked with a teasing smirk.

For this moment, Cloud allowed the side that lived this life to take control, smirking in return. "I won't stop you."

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><p>There were few times where Cloud almost forgot what Sephiroth did, living in this perpetual peace. A certain gesture or tone or word, though, would remind him of everything.<p>

It was as if Sephiroth _wanted_ him to remember his actions, holding those achingly familiar flowers on this exact day.

"She's doing well if that's what you're asking," Sephiroth started as he arranged the flowers in a vase he bought earlier, "Zack asked her hand in marriage, though I don't know whether she accepted or not."

When Cloud continued to stare at him with disbelief, Sephiroth tilted his head curiously. "What?"

"How... how can you say that so causally?"

Much to his anger and shock, Sephiroth just shrugged. "I didn't do it out of malice, she was just in my way and she perfectly knew that, and in the end, she won." Somberly, he mused aloud, "Incredibly brave, that woman."

"Yeah..." Even if she desired life, Aerith walked forward cheerfully, fully aware of the dangers ahead of her yet still hopeful for a chance to survive. She left the world with a smile that he would never forget, no matter where and when he was. "She was. She is."

Perhaps he should pay her a visit; the Aerith he knew would've demanded him to.

* * *

><p>"Was that battle real?"<p>

Cloud always thought it was an illusion, that final confrontation in the dark between the two of them alone, his mind's way of seeking some kind of closure.

"It was real," Sephiroth whispered, standing so close Cloud could feel his breath on the nape of his neck. "I tried one last time to control you. You resisted and overpowered me, so beautifully."

"Are you trying to get into my pants?" Cloud couldn't help but ask, delaying the inevitable.

"Am I succeeding?" Sephiroth asked in return, placing his hand gently - and who knew Sephiroth could be this gentle? - on Cloud's waist.

Instead of answering, Cloud kissed him, roughly and urgently - the same way Sephiroth did before starting their relationship - pinning him to his room's empty wall.

When Sephiroth groaned, kissing him back as hungrily, tugging at his shirt to take it off, Cloud wondered which part of him initiated this, why he didn't seem to find it in himself to stop.

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><p>Upon settling, barely able to catch their breaths, Cloud remembered what this day was. "You almost destroyed the world today."<p>

Sephiroth merely blinked. "I'm afraid your idea of pillow-talk has been greatly damaged along the years, Cloud."

"What changed?" Despite their on and off meetings, Cloud never asked why Sephiroth was so laid-back now, why he didn't seem to want to follow his previous ambitions.

"I killed you," Sephiroth answered simply, and it was Cloud's turn to blink in surprise. "I was given a chance to relive my life, before my first death, and the first thing I did was killing you."

Cloud didn't know if he imagined hearing the almost regretful tone in Sephiroth's voice, but he shrugged the thought off as he continued listening to Sephiroth's tale - how he found himself in an endless cycle of ruling the Planet until he died, only to be brought back after the point of no-return.

"I lost count to how many lives I lived, every single one of them going on the same. This time was different, though, I was brought back before I did anything let alone killing you, so I decided to take advantage of it."

It was all too clear to him. Well, everything but one. "Why did you bother with me?"

"You'll probably be surprised, but a life without you to fight me is rather boring." Smoothing his blonde bangs away from his eyes, Sephiroth smiled at him. "I suppose you could say that I missed you."

Stunned to silence and shocked to the core, for a moment Cloud couldn't determine which heart of his leapt in joy.

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><p>Cloud asked Sephiroth about which one of him - he still didn't get used to having two minds in one body - he preferred.<p>

"Why can't I have both?" Sephiroth shot back, looking incredibly amused and fond.

He told Sephiroth, almost teasingly, that he was being greedy. Later that night, they ended up on Cloud's bed, either fucking or making love, he honestly couldn't tell which was which anymore.

In the morning they parted, fully acknowledging that they would meet up for another anniversary.

After all, despite all odds, they only had each other to remind them of what once was.


End file.
